StlaxatlveZ/kel [Revamp Versatility]

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

This is so unfair but its only fair tat she stays Problem-free

Today, before figure drawing lesson...Fizah wanted to meet up with...i know tat she miss me, because everytime she meet up with me..she will have a smile on her face...and tats makes me real happy. after i sent her to class...i ran back to figure dawing lessons. in the middle of the lesson...she msg me and i quickly left class for her...she needs me and i ought to be there...i ran to wing A to look for her...we hug and she told me tat she's so confuse. Before we ever became wat we are...fiza encountered prob from her ex and between the two of us she dunno who to pick...i came into her life after she broke up wih him...which is long enough...ok....i consoled her and told her tat everything is gonna be alright. she was convince and she went back to class. i ran back to figure drawing class again and get my work over wif. after figure drawing...i make my way to find her...met up with her, we make our way to the library. We found ourselve a sit and sat there...i went ahead and do my work while she chatted with her friend and wait for her ex to make his way to sch. shewas so proud of me...telling her friend tat i'm her bf...it feels great. then the moment came...her ex arrived in sch...she make her way down...moments later...she came back...i know she was crying so she quickly make her way to the toilet...i follow up...being worried tat she will brakdown....after she exit from the toilet, i gave her a hug...she cried so hard. i felt her feelings it was so so so saddening. Console her again and again...and soon after...i was able to make her smile and laugh again. After tat we return to the library, after awhile...she felt confuse again...this time she felt for her ex...and theres nothing i could do...thinking bout all the problems she has to handle...it hurts me to just pull her down...i also became part of her proble...the only way is to let her go...i told her tat...and we agreed on it...it was ok at 1st but deep inside i just dun wanna let go and i know tat she feels it too...behind the smile of hers laid a girl crying because theres nothing tat can be done...to me it felt like my heart was stab by a knife...Why...Why does it have to be today! but, we just try not to think bout it...we went to eat at pasta mania...t was feeling...but can't finish it...it makes both pur tummy uneasy. After eating we spent ime together...i was feeling troubled...my heart was heavy but i know tat i can't do anything...neither does she. She did her best to cheer me up...eventually i did...for her. so we just spent time together...hand in hand...each time we feel tat things is not gonna be alright...we held each others hand tight or give each other a hug...it make us feel better. Time past real fast, its bout time she went home, and i sent her on her way home....in the tarin...we didn't let go of each other...its so hard...we dun wanna. eventually when the train reached jurng east...we held each other's hand even tighter...i was asking myself...why does it have to come to this...i dun wanna let go...neither does she. then lakeside...we stop and walk our way to her blk...our legs were walking the same pace...we didn't let go...on our way we thought bout how we met each other in the 1st place...this makes my heart and hers even heavy. Halfway there...i gave her a hug and we both started to cry...it felt terrible...from tmr onwards we're no longer wat we r and it hurts real bad...real real bad. i cry so badly and so did she...we held each other tightly...i just can't bear to leave her...she's the one for me and i know it but yet this had to come between us...no no no...i dun want it...i dun want any part of it...tears were everywhere...emotions were running wild...i can't bear to leave her. then later..we held each others hand and we walk but i'm the one feeling bad...because i have to let her go...i know she dun wanna but she dun have a choice either...then i cried again...and this time i just felt so so so bad...sorry dear i disappoint u...but i dunno wat appropriate action to do...after all of this...i sent her off and i went back alone...along my way...i just wanna cry my way home....i felt terrible and theres nothing i can do...i miss her even more and tat hurts...eventually i reached home controling my emotions...but even now when i'm blogging..i cannot control my emotions...every word contains part of wat i feel and it makes me wanna cry even more when i think of the mess i put her into...shhh!

--you're --
6:02 AM

ME

I'm a student, a bboy and a designer and a darn survivor in this mother "fcuking" world. Cocky at times, prefer to carry myself well, always confident in the air and most importantly, am learning to be mature. Whether i'm gd or bad, My closest friends knows me well enuff. If u wanna get to know me, u can just ask, nothing to be shy about. its an open society out there, if being conservative is such a bother than wats so interesting bout being human. Live life to the fullest and whether its gd or bad, life is still fruitfull because it ain't so dull. I wanna go backpacking one of this days, so whos along with me i promise i won't BITE...LOL!
loves

I LOVE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
hates

HYPOCRITES
wishes

#1 Nike cortez black delux
#2 tat someone special
#3 ~~happy life~~
#4 red t-shirt
#5 red t-shirt wif my designs
#6 ~~flip flops(stolen)~~
#7 Havanas flip flops
#8 my god damn diploma
#9 my god damn BA
#10 get married

#11 Sony Digital SLR
#12 Black bermudas
#13 New pairs of black converse shoe
#14 the white macbeth t-shirt
#15 hardi's recommended female jeans
#16 more cheap plain t-shirts
#17 iBook (*NEW*)
#18 iPOD NANO (*NEW*)

people
<Michelle
Anastasia
Clement
Mudface
Fezol
Violet(sis)
Joanne
Hardi
Trena
Bear
Drey
YuFang
HuiTing

credits
brushes
blogger
Crapsite(not Recommended)

thank yous
|slayerette|
|adobe photoshop|
|foto decadent|
|jigsaw puzzle|
|imageshack|
|blogger|

extras
other stuffs

happenings
28th april to 15th may = mid-year exam
27th may = start of freedom

pasts
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
September 2006

TAGBOARD

tagboard here
cbox recommended =)